我'm sure we’ve been in situations where someone has made us feel hurt, undermined, or taken advantage of. We may dwell on how inconsiderate and rude their behaviour was, and this leaves us bitter and disappointed. As a result, our perception of people becomes darker and bleaker than it was yesterday.

One method that’s helped me break out of this mindset is giving people the benefit of the doubt.

给某人的好处是选择相信他们的意图是诚实的。这意味着在情况周围有不确定性时不要犯恶意。

通过给人们带来疑问的好处，我的心态和对人们的行为通过以下5种方式转移：

1. I became more open-minded
2. I became more empathetic
3. 我停止流汗小事
4. I focused on what I can control
5. 我变得更加愿意帮助别人

Below you’ll find a deeper dive on how these items made a positive impact to my life, and I hope it can spark curiosity and insight for you.

1）你变得更加开放

When we give people the benefit of the doubt, it allows us to be curious rather than place blame. We become less prone to judge or assume the intentions of the person that’s hurt us.

By choosing to assume no malice in the person’s actions, our point of view shifts to curiosity rather than anger. We become more interested in why the incident may have occurred, and the circumstances that led to it.

Let’s say you’re out on a nice walk in the city during a lovely Saturday afternoon. You start crossing an intersection, and a cyclist whizzes right past you, missing you by a few inches. You’re not hurt, but definitely startled.

By sparking anger and placing blame, your mindset focuses on how you became the victim. You could’ve gotten hurt, and the cyclist was irresponsible for biking so close to you. So you end up carrying this frustration over the cyclist with you without a resolution.

But if you give the cyclist the benefit of the doubt, you can broaden your perspective on the situation. Once you accept it likely wasn’t the cyclist’s intention to cause you harm, you can assess the incident more from a neutral stance. Rather than becoming the victim, you become one part of a larger situation.

也许骑自行车的人紧急情况并急忙。也许他避免了另一个潜在的事故。或者，也许您开始过早越过十字路口。

给予疑问的好处可以消除隧道的愿景，并让您寻求理解。这也有助于平息您最初可能会感到的挫败感和愤怒。

2) You begin to empathize.

By giving the benefit of the doubt, we can also empathize with others around us.

Empathy is the act of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings and thoughts of another.

通过扩大我们思考对方潜在情况的思考过程，它使我们能够与人们更深入地与人建立联系，因为我们对他们的脑海和行动背后的背景感到好奇。

通过行使同理心，我们与我们互动的人和世界变得更加有趣，多样和动态。人们变得不仅仅是眼睛。当我们保留判断力时，我们不太倾向于将人们分类或标记为团体。根据我们对他们的有限观察，我们不太快地定义人们，并了解有无数方法可以解释自己的行为可能与我们的假设有很大不同。

有同理心，我们将人们标记为“好”或“坏”的日子已经一去不复返了。我们认为人们是二进制的行为和意图是二进制的人的时代已经一去不复返了。相反，我们能够剥离一个人的行为和行为的层次。我们开始了解我们所生活的复杂性，相互联系和基于系统的社会，而孤立的判断行动和情况并不是评估某人性格的公平方式。我们开始理解，判断他人完全消除了个人的复杂性和独特性。

If we believe that we are unique, complex, different, with our own story, challenges, and struggles, how is it fair to assume that another person doesn’t share the same level of uniqueness and complexity, with their own story, challenges and struggles? Keeping this realization at the forefront when interacting with another person, through good and the bad, breathes color and life into the world we live in.

3）您停止出汗小事。

我们越开放的思想和同情心，我们开始意识到，我们过去所沮丧的事情并不是那么重要。

Once we understand the vast, complex, diverse nature of human beings and the society we’re connected with, we’re able to take the good and the bad more holistically through a wider lens. The less we interpret experiences in isolation, the less harmful effects inconvenient moments have on our lives because we’re able to see the bigger picture.

When we choose to:

a）相信某人的不便可能不是恶意意图的结果

b）尝试了解他们的观点，他们可能经历的导致事件的事情以及

c) be curious rather than judgmental,

Our minds focus less on our negative emotions, and more on the people behind the situation. As soon as we seek to first understand, our mind shifts from judgment to compassion, and allows us to lean in with curiosity as opposed to repel with resentment.

4）您专注于可以控制的内容。

给予疑问的好处使我们能够将注意力放在可以控制的内容上。它使我们摆脱了责备，判断，怨恨，逐渐寻找要采取哪些行动来改善，减轻或解决局势的措施。

从本质上讲，我们能够摆脱受害者的心态，这些心态通常限制并限制了我们认为我们控制的一切。它使我们的心态从“不好的事情发生在我身上。为什么这必须如此艰难。”要“我如何使我所处的大多数情况？我该怎么办才能使自己处于更好的状态？我需要采取的下一步是什么？”

这种思维使我们进入行动vs inaction. It pushes us to move forward, problem solve, go out there to do the thing that can put us in a better position. Whereas pointing the finger at others and feeling sorry for ourselves gets us nowhere but further down the bitterness and resentment hole.

当然，生活是不公平的。坏事确实发生在好人身上。该系统确实使某些人与其他人边缘化。但是，它并不是它可以戴上我们的现实和变得更好的潜力的程度。这是一种信念，我随身携带了自己的核心。

5）您变得更加愿意帮助他人。

最后，当我们的思想不那么专注于为自己感到难过，而是通过移情和从更广阔的镜头进行评估时，借助援助之手变得更加容易。我们将其他人视为他们是谁 - 人。就像我们一样破碎，损坏，受伤，疲倦，困惑。因此，我们变得更加愿意帮助彼此变得更好。

Our mindset shifts from “me against the world” where we preserve our energy and generosity like a precious resource, to a “we’re all in this together” mindset where we’re willing to work together and breathe positivity to each other, helping lift one another.

呼吸积极性对我们与之互动的社区产生连锁反应。一旦我们通过寻求理解，同情和帮助来应对负面情况，它就使其他人在下次将他们的生活中陷入消极位置时就可以做同样的事情。等等。这是一个简单的工具和心态，也是一种强大的工具。

综上所述

As cliché as the phrase “give people the benefit of the doubt” may seem, the layers of positive impacts this brings goes way beyond simply looking at a situation positively. It has the power to shift our entire train of thought and perception about people and the world in which we live in. It can breathe color into our otherwise stressful and busy lives. It has the power to remove the tunnel vision which we see life through and gain clarity on the broader, complex, interconnected system we interact with.

总而言之，做出积极的选择使人们对疑问的利益受益于我们的观点：

1. 你变得更加开放
2. You’re able to empathize
3. You stop sweating the small things
4. 您专注于可以控制的
5. 您变得更加愿意帮助他人

我很想听听您对此主题的想法和评论。您什么时候经历了使人们受益的情况对您的一天产生了积极影响？另外，什么时候会使事情变得更糟？好坏，我很想听听这句话如何影响您对人的生活和感知。我要求这两种观点，因为我认识到这绝不是一所千篇一律的所有思想流派。这只是我喜欢为自己的最佳机会与我周围的其他人建立联系，体验和分享的最佳机会。因此，我很想听听您要说的话！