当男人虐待或骚扰我们时，我们会感到无助和ham愧。但是有希望，因为我们并不孤单。

Helplessness

Sometimes at night she can feel the taxi drivers’ hand on her knee again. She remembers fearing for her life on her way home.
Sometimes that memory pops up again, the face of that guy that jerked off in the metro while staring into her eyes.
There is that certain perfume that gives her goosebumps because it reminds her of her old boss who abused her.
She is afraid of public toilets because a guy once masturbated to the sound of her peeing.
When she enters a club she remebers them touching her ass while passing by, grabbing her breasts while dancing and pressing their dick against her back without consent.

Every girl I know has a plethora of such moments. Moments that make her shiver, want to vomit, feel paralysed. Moments in which men have exploited their power. Exploited situations where we had to depend on them or could not leave. That taxi driver is our only way to get home. That boss would ruin our career if we spoke up. That family friend would say we consented to his touches.

在我在这个地球上的22年中，我感受到了很多情绪。当男人对你做这样的事情，你所爱的人或你刚遇到的任何女孩时，没有人能像无助的那样强烈和恐怖。当您握住最好的朋友的头发时，您会感到无助，而她则从他的记忆中吐出来。当您的妹妹回家并告诉您她在途中受到骚扰时，无助。betway娱乐官网当您意识到这些怪物都不会面对其行为的后果时，无助。

Shame

I am not writing this text to list all the disgusting things men have done, no book could contain such list. I am writing this text because there is too much silence. There is silence because when we share these stories we too often hear: “guys will be guys” or “you led him on”. Then we sit, ashamed of ourselves and play back every second of the encounter to find the moment where we “led him on”. We start believing society’s gaslighting. The absurdity of patriarchy is that women feel ashamed for the disgusting shit men do to them. For years I would be too ashamed to tell people about my host father who emotionally abused me and manipulated me during my exchange year. I thought it was my fault or that I deserved this. He was more than 20 years older than me; I was a minor.

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. NEVER.

For years I would feel like I was suffocating when I received a message from him. My hands would start shaking and I would become numb for a few hours. He had this power over me, even after I left the country, despite the thousands of kilometres between us. I could not speak and felt like taking a shower. To rinse his disgusting gazes off me. The phantasies he had of me. Wash it all away. One time it became too much and I eventually spoke to a friend about it. After all these years it felt like finally breathing air after a long dive.

希望

When I told the story to a few people they told me similar stories. We were all too afraid to share because we thought we were the only ones. I sat in a room with my girlfriends, and we spent hours sharing our experiences, our feelings, our hate. The room filled with anger, shame, fear, resentment, regrets and tears. In the end we opened the window to let it all go. After we cleaned the air I sensed relief and solidarity in the room.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. NEVER.

不仅是我的女朋友帮助了我。一旦我与男性朋友分享了一些经历，他们就会意识到，即使这意味着在火车上又一个小时，也会带我回家。betway娱乐官网当我住在一个不同的国家时，他们会接电话并与我交谈，直到他们听到我的房屋开放的锁，无论在哪个小时或需要多长时间。betway娱乐官网这是我没有完全失去Menkind希望的原因。分享这些故事并不能解决问题，但它使其难以忍受。我们必须打破沉默并互相表现出同情心。

When she feels the hand of the taxi driver again, she calls her friend.
When the face of the guy in the metro pops into her head she recalls the warmth and safety of her friend’s hug.
When I get a text from my host dad that makes me vomit, I know someone is there to hold my hair. Because we are there for each other.
The solidarity does not end this cruelty. But it helps us deal with it instead of struggling alone.