A bit about me, and the most viewed and loved articles I’ve written so far.


I’m Alexander

I’m a Medium Top Writer in Psychology, Mental Health and Self Improvement with a degree in psychology and certified in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). I previously trained in hypnotherapy.

— -For my popular and viral articles, skip to the bottom — -

I’ve come from a place of personal social anxiety, anxiety, occasional depression, low self-esteem and more. Also laziness and lack of direction.

I beat it. I’m better now. I’m happy now. I think better. Things are clearer. I’m still lazy sometimes, but that’s ok.

I want to help others do that. I hope I can provide…

Big changes solve problems. Then you move on to tackle bigger problems. So if the problems keep getting bigger, what’s the point?


I had an amazing introduction to the whole self-help thing. I’d never really even heard of it. Yet, while reading an introduction to neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) book, I felt like I was having revelation after revelation.



It continued for years. I found more books from all sorts of angles. More self-help. I learned about all kinds of therapy. Things really felt like they were changing.

In screenwriting, we sometimes call character flaws ‘humanity’ and use them to make people likeable.


But what if they weren’t just flaws at all? What if they come with a plus side we’ve never considered?

What if the things we hate about ourselves are the same things that make others like us?




I was halfway through a producing a six-week film shoot, and I felt like I was falling apart. It was the most stressful thing I’ve ever done. I was hiding in the bathroom with wet eyes, working out how to get the strength to get back out there and get things done.


Therapy with psychedelics is expensive and restricted. Now it’s just illegal.

I have a ridiculous memory of my Ayahuasca journey, watching one of the guides walk around the room without a head. His long neck just rounded off smoothly at the top.

There was another crazy moment where, as the solitary English-only speaker there, a guide forgot and spoke to me in Dutch. Under the psychedelic influence, she sounded like she was speaking something more like Elvish from Lord of the Rings, complete with magical sound effects.

But the guides, when they did have heads and weren’t speaking in tongues, were incredible. They made me feel very safe in my first…


The Crown Court, 2014

As the trial reached a critical moment, I ducked down, giggling, behind the man in front of me. I was failing to hide my laughter from the packed court, managing to keep my head low, but not the volume. The people who sat with me were holding back giggles too, but because laughter is contagious, they couldn’t hold it in either. The judge couldn’t help but notice us – the giggling jury – bouncing around on the benches. Hearing adjourned.


Wouldn’t life be so much better if your inner voice was always kind?


A friend sat next to me and said one sentence:



幸福可以从unexp找到我们ected places

This isn’t a list of books about happiness, but a list of books about an array of other things, that somehow led me to happiness. Happiness can come from the most unexpected places.





The pandemic has unexpected implications for our relationship with technology

Have you found yourself being particularly polite to Siri recently? Had an argument with Alexa but then apologised and made up? Well, it seems that under the stress of the pandemic, we’re going that way. Kindness is on the rise. Even to machines.

研究人员looking at the link between Covid and kindness selected participants who had been affected by the disease, and got them to play something called独裁者的游戏, a popular game you’ll find in studies about kindness and altruism. …

Phone addicts spend almost half their waking hours on their phones



Free Dopamine at the Validation Station

That little bell. The notification symbol. The message icon. They all entice us to check in with the promise of a little dopamine hit or some validation from someone somewhere in the world.


Dopamineferries messages through our brain, especially ones that make us feel good. We get little dopamine hits…